The Last of the Jedi
by Electricboa
Summary: What happens after Rey finally finds the legendary Luke Skywalker? She discovers that even heroes can be broken.
1. Broken

"Where did you get that?"

His piercing blue eyes were weathered and worn, but his voice was hard. It had a raspy quality to it, as if he hadn't spoken aloud in years.

Rey hadn't known exactly what to expect, but this man—this legend—didn't sound happy to see her at all. She lowered the lightsaber slowly. "It—it was on Takodana. Maz Kanata had it in her castle."

"You shouldn't have come," the Jedi said, somewhat more softly. "I have nothing to offer you."

Without waiting for a response—without making any move towards the saber—he walked away. Rey blinked at the empty ruins a moment before her feet were moving—running—to catch up. "Wait! I came all this way to find you."

The man ducked into a low cavern opening on the side of the island. "A journey made in vain, I'm afraid."

The room was small and sparse. Spartan in its furnishings, there were few items that didn't look like they belonged. There were no chairs, only outcroppings of stone. A meditation mat lay in the corner by some knickknacks. Rey spotted an old holoprojector and what appeared to be a lightsaber, albeit of different design than the one she still clutched in her hand.

"You're Luke Skywalker," she said at last. It came out part question and part accusation.

He sat on a stone seat by the area that appeared to be where he was living. "Luke Skywalker is dead."

Rey frowned. "But the map—it was a map to Luke Skywalker and you're the only one here."

"He died a long time ago. I'm sorry, but the man you're looking for isn't here." He pointed at the cave opening. "Please go away."

Growling, Rey took a step forward. "I didn't go through all this to give up now. The lightsaber—it called to me."

"That doesn't mean you have to listen to it," he said coldly.

"I can _feel_ you. I can sense you're not just an ordinary man, despite what you want me to believe. You are a Jedi."

"And if I was, what would it matter? The Jedi are gone. They aren't coming back," Skywalker—for Rey knew it had to be him—looked away in disgust. "They never should have tried."

"I'm here to learn what it is I have inside me. I need to know." He had to understand. If he didn't, then who would?

"The Force," Skywalker looked back to her and the hardness to his eyes had returned, "is cruel and capricious. Go home and never look back."

"I have no home to go back to," she snapped, louder than the meant. "I don't know what else I can do. I tried to run from it, but it won't stop. I can feel it pushing me towards something."

"Yes, it pushes you and then it takes and takes without remorse." He looked over at the holoprojector.

"How can you say that? You're a war hero!"

"Wars do not make one great," he said automatically. "They're filled with death and destruction—and for what? Nothing changes."

Rey shook her head. "What happened to you?"

Skywalker reached out to take the holoprojector. "I became a Jedi," he said simply, as if that explained it.

"The galaxy needs you—"

"The galaxy got along fine without me."

"The Resistance needs you—"

"It never needed me before."

"General Organa needs—"

"She doesn't need me. She shouldn't want to see me ever again. I failed her as much as I've failed everyone." Skywalker ran the pad of his finger over the smooth casing of the holoprojector. "That's my legacy: failure. Why would you ever want to learn from someone like that?"

"I don't know. I sure know I wouldn't pick you on my own," Rey said exasperatedly. "The Force sent me here."

"And if you keep listening to the Force, you will lose everything you have—"

"I don't have anyone to lose." That was a lie, she thought suddenly. Finn was her friend. She had him.

"We both know that's not true. Do you have any idea how painful the experience is? To be able to sense when someone dies?" His knuckles were while as he gripped the projector. "To be able to feel when she—they die?"

"Yes." Skywalker faltered slightly, a brief look of confusion passed his face. Rey started speaking before she really thought about what she was saying. "Han Solo—he helped me. He was someone I cared about and I know _exactly_ what it feels like to be there when a friend is killed."

The look on Skywalker's face brought her up short. He hadn't known. She should have realized—he was out in the middle of nowhere and clearly didn't have any interstellar communication devices in here. He stood abruptly, dropping the holoprojector on the soft meditation mat. Rey caught the glint of tears in his eyes as he stumbled out the entrance.

"Wait—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell you like that," she called after him.

He hadn't gone far. The pathway outside the cave curved around the side of the island. It looped around to overlook the spot Rey had landed the _Millennium Falcon_. Skywalker was leaning heavily on a natural railing as he looked over the freighter. His body was tensed a brittle. He looked like he was about to collapse.

"Is this my punishment?" He shouted to the open air. "Why do you keep taking _them_ and never me? Haven't you taken enough from me?"

The right hand gripped the edge of the rock until Rey could hear a series of cracks before it crumbled.

"Is this what you want?" Skywalker said brokenly without turning. It took Rey a moment to realize he was asking her. "The Force took my father from me, my mother before that. It took my Aunt and Uncle. It took both of my masters. It took my family and friends. It took my—that's all it ever does—it takes and leaves nothing but pain and regret."

Rey wasn't sure what else she could say. She bowed her head, "I'm sorry."

There wasn't anything she could say to him now. That was clear enough. She didn't know exactly what he was talking about, but she could figure out some from the legends she'd heard of Luke Skywalker. Rey headed back to the cave. She might be giving him some time, but she sure wasn't retreating. Going back to the _Falcon_ now would be admitting defeat, and she wasn't about to do that. She had to be here, that much was certain. What she wasn't so sure about anymore was if Skywalker was supposed to help her or if she was supposed to help him.

Pulling out her comlink, she opened a narrow band to the _Falcon's_ cockpit. "I'm alright," she said in answer to the Skyriiwook growl. She had no idea what he was saying, but she could make a pretty good guess. "Better hunker down, this might take a while."

Another growl, although this time it was more inquisitive. "He's here, but he needs a little time alone. Rey out."

Crouching down to the fallen holoprojector, Rey picked it up. The casing had been worn smooth and glassy, but it had clearly once been a brushed Bronzium finish. She'd seen enough cheap models to know a quality unit when she saw one. This was older—perhaps decades—but had been meticulously maintained and kept clean.

In a moment of insatiable curiosity, Rey depressed the activation nodule and a single image flickered over the unit. It was a woman. She was quite beautiful and had a mane of fiery red hair. There wasn't anything else, just this smiling woman looking like it was the happiest day of her life. _Who could she be?_ She clearly meant a lot to Skywalker. This was one of precious few things he kept. Shaking her head—she probably would never find out—she set it beside the lightsaber.

Dropping the bag she'd brought with her in the far corner of the cave, Rey started unpacking. She was going to be here for a while. Might as well get some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, I saw the Force Awakens and while having some issues with retreading the plot for A New Hope, I did like it. They also appear to be using some of the Jacen Solo storyline for Kylo Ren. Things certainly didn't turn out as well for Han, Luke, and Leia as it had in the EU. No happy endings here, I guess. With the new canon, I imagined a pretty bitter Luke. And yes, I think we all know who the redhead is supposed to be. We might lose a lot of the EU characters, but they had better not drop Mara Jade.


	2. Stars in the Night

It was many hours later when Rey heard the near-silent sounds of boots scraping the ground. She'd always been a light sleeper—you had to be if you were a scavenger. Not everyone was honorable in how they acquired their wares. And if you weren't vigilant, one night of going hungry was more than enough to teach the lesson. The light coming from the entrance was tinged with an orange-pink that cast intricate red shadows along the walls. The sun—a rather small yellowish star—was just rising.

Skywalker paused at his corner of the room, seemingly noting the holoprojector residing back on the shelf without comment. Instead, he carefully lowered himself to the ground. Rey watched all of this through half-lidded eyes. He looked—for lack of a better word—better. At least relatively speaking compared to how he'd been before.

"You're still here," he observed calmly as he appraised the little area she was camped out in. When she didn't say anything, he tilted his head slightly. "I know you're not asleep; there's no point in pretending."

With a huff, Rey threw her blanket aside and scooted up to a sitting position with her back against the scruffy wall. "I thought you weren't interested in talking to me."

His lips thinned. "I won't train you. I didn't say I wouldn't speak to you, and you clearly aren't going to leave on your own."

"I didn't come here on my own," she said and his eyes darted to the entrance, as if expecting to see whoever she was referring to. There was no one there, of course, so she continued. "Chewbacca came with me."

The barest twitch of his cheek was his only reaction.

"He was worried about you, when I said I'd found you."

It looked for a moment like he wouldn't say anything, but after a pause he sighed. "He shouldn't be. If anything, he should hate me."

Rey had had enough. "What is with this 'woe is me' attitude? Why should he hate you?"

"Because it's my fault that Han is dead."

"How the hell is that supposed to work? I didn't even tell you anything about it. You ran before I could explain."

Skywalker looked at her curiously. "You said he was killed, that's enough. If I'd been there, I could have stopped it. I _should_ have stopped it—whatever happened."

"Is this what you've been doing all this time?" She asked in disbelief. "Beating yourself up and thinking you're responsible for everyone?"

"No," he answered stoically, "I came here to die."

Rey couldn't help but snort. "Not doing such a stellar job at that, are you?"

He gave her a slightly amused looked. "It's not that simple. It never is."

"Well," she said as she grabbed a ration bar from her pouch. "I've got nothing but time." Skywalker just stared as she ate in silence. "Go on, convince me and I'll leave you in peace."

"The _Force_ is strong in my family," he said the word _Force_ like a curse. "I know what happens when I die—I've seen what happens to someone trained. They become one with it; join it."

Pulling his cloak tighter around himself, he looked hunched. "That's what I'm most afraid of," he said, "an eternity of being 'one with the Force,' of never being able to escape into the black nothingness of death. That's why I'm not dead yet, because I know the hell I have waiting for me after."

Rey dug out the part of the map BB-8 had been carrying and tossed it to him. "Then why leave a map, if this was a one-way trip. Why still be here at all?"

The piece fell short and skidded along the stone floor. Reaching down to pick it up, Skywalker studied it. "I didn't leave this to be followed. I found it. It was a map to this planet—this temple—the only place where I thought I could find the thing I want most of all—a way to die without joining the Force."

"You're still here"

He shrugged. "I haven't found it, yet."

"So that's it?" Rey asked. "You're just here long enough to find a way to kill yourself and let the galaxy burn along the way?"

"I've suffered enough; let someone else save the galaxy."

"The First Order destroyed the whole Hosnian system. The New Republic is in shambles."

"I don't care," he said coldly. "I stopped caring years ago."

"What about Han?" she asked desperately. "You cared about him. Don't you want to bright justice to his killer?"

"You mean revenge."

"What does it matter what I mean? He's dead and you don't seem to give a damn that his murderer is walking free!"

"I've had many chances at revenge, and nothing good ever comes from them. They're like venom-orchids, beautiful to look at but toxic to the touch."

"That's the best you've got? Some pseudo-philosophical garbage to justify that nothing matters? And yet you blame yourself for things you can't possibly control."

Skywalker nodded. "Therein lays the paradox of the Jedi," he agreed. "I destroyed the first Death Star. Do you have any idea how many people I'm responsible for killing? They were just ordinary people who were just doing their job, and for what? They built another one."

"That doesn't mean you stop trying."

"I didn't. I kept following the Force. I did what I thought I had to—what everyone expected me to." He gave a sickly laugh. "I thought I could rebuild the Jedi. I found students who wanted to learn."

Skywalker threw a brief look at the holoprojector. "I even found someone who loved me."

Rey could feel the unease in the pit of her stomach. She now understood exactly who the woman was.

"A-and one day I had a vision," his voice broke slightly. "I didn't hesitate to follow it."

A sneer marred his normally passive face. "I was so naive. I was so _stupid_. I did what the Force wanted. I went to some backwater world that needed me. I did what I was _supposed_ to do and headed home." He looked her in the eye. "It was night—it was raining—but I could see the smoke from orbit. I could _feel_ the panic, the death."

He reached for the holoprojector again. Rey had a feeling it was something he did often. "I was landing when I felt it— _her_. She was the shining light in my universe and all at once, the stars went out. I never even got to say goodbye. She died without me there—without even knowing where I was."

"I died then and there, but my body didn't know enough to follow. Everything I'd worked for—everything I built was all for nothing. The one time I needed the _Force_ —the one time I needed something for _myself_ —I was _alone_. I would have given anything to save her—anything to have just a few more minutes with her. Just to say I loved her one more time."

She hadn't realized she was holding her breath. With a gulp of air, Rey managed a whisper. "What happened?"

"I killed them—those _Knights_. Everyone else was dead, but they were just standing there in the middle of the massacre. She was there, lying on the ground. She'd tried to save the others, but there were just too many of them. I was so _angry_. They didn't stand a chance." He turned the projector over in his hand. "I slaughtered them all, until I got to their leader. I had to see the face of the monster that did this, who took my future and happiness from me."

"I broke his arm and ripped the mask off," he looked down and his voice was thick. "It was my _nephew_. I had been training him to be a Jedi and he murdered my _wife_. I wanted to do it—I wanted to make him suffer. I wanted to do such horrible things—I wanted him to die in agony and pain."

"I raised my blade and all I could see were their faces—Han . . . Leia . . . Mara—I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him. As much as I longed to, I couldn't bring myself to. I froze and he ran." he choked out the last word and swallowed. "That's why I hate the Force, and that's why they should all hate me. I hate myself. It's _my_ fault. If I'd been a better teacher—a better person—they wouldn't be dead. _She_ wouldn't be dead. And I've spent these past years constantly reliving it—how I could have saved them if I just hadn't listened to the _Force_ —and searching for a way that I don't have to feel it anymore."

Skywalker looked up to her with watery eyes. "I want a way to die so I don't have to see her green eyes stare at me in my dreams. I hear her voice in the waves and her laugh in the wind. I see her hair in the setting sun and nothing I can ever do will make up for my failure."

"I am sorry you came all this way to find this legend you've built up in your head. Luke Skywalker is dead. He died with the rest of the Jedi."

Rey considered what he'd said. She couldn't imagine going though that, but it can't be the end. The First Order needed to be stopped. This Kylo Ren had to be stopped. If Skywalker wasn't going to do it, she would have to. Taking a steadying breath, she leveled her eyes to his. "Would _she_ have wanted you to just give up like this?"

Skywalker said nothing.

"Would she want you to be here— _alone_ —just trying to die?"

"No," he said at last, "she would despise what I've become—this empty shell . . . but she was always stronger than I was."

"Then don't do it for me or the Resistance or the galaxy—do it for _her_." Rey pushed herself to her feet and gripped her staff. "You want to fade off into nothingness, that's fine. At least honor her memory before you do."

"And have another death on my conscience?"

" _If_ I die, then it's _not_ your fault. I know what I'm asking. I'm not invincible, but I'm also not going to run from this fight." Rey walked over and set the lightsaber at his feet. "If I have to teach myself, then I guess I'm in right place."

She headed to cavern entrance and paused to turn back. "If you want to help me, you could end up saving my life." Looking away, she stared out to the rising sun. "Maybe you should put a little more focus on the lives you've helped—the people who are still around because of you—than what you've been doing."

Rey walked out and turned left. It wasn't the way back to the _Falcon_. This was the first Jedi Temple? Well, there must be writings somewhere around here. Something—anything—that could help her. She wasn't going to leave here empty handed.

* * *

Luke considered the woman that left in all her headstrong fury. She was brash and hardheaded, but he could sense her heart and need to do this. Whoever she was, she wasn't going to be leaving the island anytime soon.

Her words were a small flicker of light in the miasma of despair that had overtaken him. Luke flicked the holoprojector on and looked at his grinning wife. "She reminds me of you—the same spirit and drive," the silence that always answered his questions hung in the stale air. He ran his finger along the flickering cheek. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything."

No, Mara wouldn't have wanted this for him. And for all this time he'd been too afraid—willfully and happily ignorant—to care. Those same eyes that he saw when he slept were all the answer he needed. He could try—

 _Do or do not, there is no try._

The Luke of decades ago would have believed that. He would have held it to his very core. But he wasn't the Luke of that past, that blissful long-ago that mocked his nightmares. _Try_ was the best he could manage now. It would have to be enough.

After one last look at his long-dead wife, Luke set her aside and followed the young woman out of the cave. He could sense her at the main training hall. She was scrutinizing some of the carved hieroglyphs in frustration. She probably couldn't read a thing. It took him months and he'd had the benefit of years of prior study into Jedi lore.

"You're right," he said when she failed to notice him.

Half-turning, she narrowed her eyes. "I'm right?"

"I don't have much left to offer the galaxy, but I can help you," he slid his hands into his robe, "for her sake."

She tried to stifle the all-too-familiar grin that threatened to break her continence. "I can live with that."

Luke walked closer and extended his hand. "I'm Luke Skywalker."

"Rey."

Something within him stirred—a connection he hadn't felt in a great many years. Pulling out the long lost lightsaber, he extended it to her. "Let's get started, Rey."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I originally hadn't planned on anything more than the first chapter, but people seemed to like it enough that I did one more. At least this ends on a more hopeful note. I don't really have anything after this. As to Rey's parentage, I don't really want to go one way or the other. I did leave enough in to work if she is Luke and Mara's daughter.


End file.
